We have been walking through some parenting situations this summer, and I keep reminding myself of the things I should be focusing on, as it can get so consuming always keeping records of the infractions or non-compliance. I want to be the mom who focuses on the good and praises, praises everyone. So I am getting back to this previous post, being inspired to list my reasons: reasons for gratitude, reasons to praise, reasons to find JOY in the everyday. Here they are for today.

cuddling with the boys, nightly, as we read and pray- the beach, anytime-waffle boat sundaes-painting a new white canvas with relaxing classical music playing-the drive into NC in the fall-my parents house and property for Thanksgiving-nursing my 3 babies-the unending and unconditional LOVE of GOD, anything during the toddler years-high speed internet-zumba-cycling to 80’s music- pregnancy-Robert’s 2-day shadow- freshly bleached warm towels-butterfly watching- travelling with Robert-prayer time in the early morning-Robert’s cappucinos-watching my boys grow, literally- yardwork on a cool day-reading late night-seafood-dining out-teaching art-curious students asking me questions- any Joshua memories- Joshua keepsakes-scrapbooks of the boys-being in the presence of my brothers-air conditioning in Florida!-Robert’s snow white hair coming in - God’s sweet mercies every morning - a car that runs and moves us safely-the incredible FREEDOM we have in this  country, the fabulous nutritionals that got us off meds, still holding my 108 lb. baby(7) in my lap - the hot tub under a starry sky - time to listen to my boys - blogging, writing - soft worship time- encouraging time with girlfriends - Jesus, and His salvation - watching my son play soccer -clean water and indoor plumbing - apricot scrubs - our US troops - my PDA - Seeing God use our past circumstances to bless someone who is hurting - chocolate and almonds, together - extended family.

Not necessarily all in that order.

Thank you GOD!

I go through these phases, I guess being so right-brained and sometimes I am completely obsessed with painting, or with writing, or nutrition, even just enjoying time with the boys. I think it has to do with all of the plates that we women are constantly juggling, and we flit back and forth like little birds. Sometimes I imagine that I resemble a manic little bird. (I have even been known to slap myself right into a few sliding glass doors when I am flitting about):-)

Well, this week, I had an encouraging conversation with a friend, a woman after God’s own heart, and I was so empowered and grateful for our conversation. I am on a reading frenzy again.

To back up, We have had some real issues with the TV this summer. I know it is not a living thing, but sometimes I resent the hold it has on my family, even as much as we try to monitor and use it for good things. Video games really have a negative affect on my youngest-7 and his sensory issues so we have to keep it at a bare minimum, if not at all. We have tried using the “read time equals TV time”. It has still become a constant debate where I am always playing TV cop and I am tired of the conversation.

So we are so fed up, we are at the point of chucking it all, selling it on Graig’s list, (or maybe just keeping it unplugged except for specific famly occasions). I can understand so much why Elvis shot his TV. I remember hearing about that, and thinking he was probably not of sound mind, but now I think he could have been extremely sober and very cognizant  of what a hold the thing had on him. Good thing I do not have a gun around.

All that to say, I am loving reading. I am starting my days with reading and beginning a chronological reading of the Bible(actually I cheated and started with John again), as well as some great prayer books to help me with prayer time specifics with the boys.

This is one phase that never should get slack or slow down, whilst I am flitting through all of the others.

The books I am loving right now-

Chronological Bible

The True Measure of a Woman - Lisa Bevere

The Power of a Praying Parent - Stormie Omartian (some with the boys)

The power of a praying Woman - Stormie Omartian

Farmer Boy - laura Ingalls Wilder (with the boys every night)

 Josh McDowell’s Family Devotions (with the boys)

God and the History of Art I and II - Love it! (for teaching)

Just finished the Shack

I do not know how much most moms will relate to the behavior issues we have faced with my son, bear-7. Given that he is such a bright and high-functioning kid, and getting older, I have not wanted to go into a lot of details.  But I know there are families that are like us and still searching for answers, which can be costly and very consuming for the whole family. Sensory processing disorder is considered within the autistic spectrum. We are still walking through circumstances in our home that make it a real challenge to go too many public places. Crowds and circuses and fairs, theme parks, they are all too much stimulation and can easily trigger melt-downs. I am sure as the year goes on, I will post more about this and how it has affected our entire family, but for now, it is a consuming summer. I have slowed down my speaking schedule and we are trying to make day-to-day decisions that help our family have peace..and to feel like we are moving forward somewhat.

I wanted to share some today because I found a great website. I visited the site of the only DAN dr. that I know of, in the Jax area, Dr. Buckley.  From there I found some great resources, (drop down to behavior) that encouraged me and reminded me that there are other families out there like us! It is a daunting financial commitment to get into a full program, especially when a kid is so high-functioning, I mean he is excelling in so many ways and we really do not want a label, but definitely having some challenges that put him there anyway. I have tried to glean information where I could. Our pediatricians know and consult with DAN docs, and said they would recommend first the GF diet, which has shown us some improvement. I also should have never left our ABA therapy, so we are back in it for the summer. Even if I just speak to her occasionally for a consult, it encourages me that we are doing the right thing.

I am still looking for a great parents group in Jacksonville, just for some moral support. Just like the years we were walking through grief, it was so consoling to speak with other peers who had walked the walk, I have always wanted to be that for others, to shine some light and give them some hope.

I must admit there are some days that I am on the other end, and needing that support. Will post more on auditory processing and visual processing, which is where we found some great answers as well.

Thank you God for resources and answers, and your unending love and promise while we are still searching.

I stayed up way too late last night, pouring through the new curriculum, “God and the History of Art I and II” for the homeschoolers. It is fabulous. It is 4 yrs of a hands-on art class that studies the techniques and lives of famous christian artists and how their faith affected their art, affected the culture, affected the world. It is so exciting. I remembered the monotonous memorization of frame after frame in art history at college, the Byzantine, Gothic and middle ages, Not fun! But I think the hands-on projects will make it much more captivating and memorable. Plus, I have chosen the era that I never studied in college, the 20th century. Somehow, I missed out on that class. So I guess I will be enjoying it along with the kids.

Of course, when I start planning my art class again, it also gives me a new desire to get back to my painting series that I have not finished. I have some new ideas for it, and of course, not enough time in the day for everything. This week, I had to cancel my trip to NC because we all have cold bugs. So we are moving slower and getting a few things done around the house. You know, the things we normally never have time for, unless we have a cold bug. I sorted my closet, and next we are going to venture out and pull some weeds. Never too far away from our kleenex box.

Once school starts up again, I may find some days to finish the paint series. In the meantime, I am looking forward to this class!

The only way I have been able to paint my florals and butterflies is having good reference. The only way I have had good reference is from taking my own photos. So I feel like I should give credit for my photos where it is due.

The credit would go, first, to my wonderful husband who was so considerate to surprise me a few years ago with a new Nikon D80 camera. It has taken me awhile to figure out how to use it, and I am still learning, but the journey has been so much fun!!

I have begun to love the art of capturing a photograph almost as much as I love painting. The boys and I have journeyed to the Rainforest (at University of Florida, of course) and to the Butterfly World, down near Fort Lauderdale, and many trips to the beach and field excursions, all to use our camera (and the experience too). Both boys have become great photographers themselves. My 12 yr old will be taking a course this year that is creative writing, AND photography. So he will be much more enthralled with the subjects to write about them. He is looking forward to it.

I recently had my 12 yr old to go outside and shoot some pics of me, close-up, to possibly use for a bio. It was really the wrong time of day, with too much sun, and when we came in and looked at the shots, they were soo very close-up and bright that we could see the little hairs on my face!!! “TMI-mom”, he said.

So the camera is good and sometimes maybe too good. We needed some filtered lenses here, or atleast a shadier time of the day!

So my biggest challenge now is that I am getting so many great pictures that I am having to file them on CDs to hopefully, someday, condense into fabulous scrapbooks. I may not find the time for all of that until the boys are grown and on their own. Until then, we will just keep snapping and storing. Well, except for the hairy face mug shots. They got deleted.

Well, after much deliberation and prayer about where to place the boys this year, I am finding myself homeschooling again! M y 12 yr old had some incredible improvement this past year in his school program and we have found some specific courses and teaching styles that I think will work for all of us. I will be teaching art appreciation, “God in the History of Art I and II” at Homesweethomeschool, and he will taking some classes there, as well as on Florida Virtual school. My biggest job will be helping him to stay ON-TASK, while balancing our business and being an active PTO mommy for my youngest son, still in school. We will get to do the LT Language Arts program together, and I am looking forward to it. That was always my favorite, anyway. Yay!

We were beginning to see some challenges with the boys this summer in attitude and testing boundaries ,and I know in my heart that this is the right decison because I love my relationship with them and I do not want to lose it to the world. I was blessed to get to the Homeschool convention in Jacksonville last week, and it is not so much for the vendors, but just the comraderie and companionship of being around like-minded people that affirms and encourages me so much.

I have never really fit into the group of SOLD OUT homeschooler moms that have many kids and all homeschooled perfectly. We always had such exceptional situations, and when we were walking through grief it was almost impossible to accomplish all that we wanted in the home, financially or emotionally. We also found some learning challenges that really required testing and getting educated on answers. So I am thankful for our school experiences as well. I am so grateful for my husband who works so hard to provide. I know from experience that every child is soo different, and we cannot approach them all the same way. We must be so flexible to change with every year, and every child, and every situation.

But I am grateful to be homeschooling him again. My 7 yr old, absolutely LOVES structure and routine, and still has a real challenge when things get too loose and unplanned, so he will still be in his sweet, specific school program. There may be a day when we can homeschool him as well, but until then, we found a program that works for him to have a peaceful, thriving year.

We moms can be wrought with anguish over making the right decision for our kids and families. Sometimes what is best for the kids, may not even be the husband’s present wishes..more anguish. I know. Whatever your situation, financial or emotional, I am encouraging you to just give it to God. Once he helps you make the right decision for your family, for that time, you can operate in peace and know that God will make it into a good (Romans 8:28). I can look back now and see some of the things we have walked through and realize the why. 

Many times it was just to grow me and teach me that I am going to have to let go of those reins again. You know, the reins of control that we all want to hold..

It’s like the TV remote. It is soo annoying to be watching TV and someone else has the remote and they are flipping.  Let’s say the controller even has ADD. Now THAT is annoying. Ideally we should be able to compromise and agree on a show together, but sometimes, life can quickly change the channel on you, huh? Sometimes it is a show we reaally do not want to watch.  

So the only thing we can do is get up and go fill our brain with something positive, something pure, whatever is lovely, like.. the word of God, prayer, something encouraging.

If you want some encouragement in the area of homeschooling, you can go to the www.HERIJAX.com  site and look under convention 2008. You can contact the rhino technologies company and order the tapes from the breakout sessions. Many are just encouraging testimonies from Parents that have walked the walk, like Pam Tebow. I know there were talks that I missed and will order soon.

Whatever your decisions, I pray that you will have peace on you throughout the year once the decision has been made. Give it to God. Then walk in gratitude for the beautiful children you have and are comissioned to raise to the best of your abilities.

Thank you God for loaning us these beautiful children, and this awesome responsibility.

I am still in awe and profoundly impacted by the book I read last night, and this morning. I just did not put it down until my eyes were crossing and blurred. I slept quickly, and then awoke to immediately pick it up and finish it.

It is not often that I indulge in the luxury of a fiction novel. I guess I always feel the constant martha-syndrome that there is too much to do and it all needs my attention now. But last night I told the boys they were going to have to entertain themselves, play a  game or read a book. This was excrutiatingly painful for them as they had lost some TV privileges and my youngest had a cold. They are so used to my constant attention and entertainment. I did take some time for our bedtime reading and devotion, tucked them in, and got back to my book. I was so grateful for this time.

The Shack is an incredible spiritual work. It is exceptional for those who have walked through painful and tragic circumstances, and I kept relating all that we have walked through as a family since my oldest son died in 02.  Each chapter was just hitting so close to home, and then I finished the book and reminded myself that everyone has walked through circumstances at some time in their life, and everyone will ultimately confront the questions of death and dying. I feel that most readers will find some relatability as I did, the confrontation with their intimacy and misconceptions about God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit (who is my favorite part of the book, being an artist) as well as their culture of church . I am still so overwhelmed and need some time to assimilate all that I have read and felt.

I highly recommend, if you are reading anything this year, that this be IT.

(note: after reading over some of the debates about this book, I have to share that I did not agree with or absorb every line in this story as my own, but the story itself, did instill in me a reflection of my own relationship with God and a fresher outlook on my priorities and focus. I am very grateful that I read it. and I think my husband is very grateful that I read it)

I love the books written by Andy Andrews. We knew of him in the past through other business ventures, and he has evolved into, not only one of the most sought after christian comedians of our time, but also a gifted novelist, intertwining humor, history, success principles, and a great story. I have recently joined his blog and have been very blessed by the well-thought-out writings that he has posted(as opposed to my random thoughts and tangents of a plate-juggling mother).

Considering that I am raising boys, like him, I especially enjoyed this pondering on our culture, and the waning virtue of telling the truth. Enjoy!

I was perusing through the incredible devotional blogs of the CWO cafe and found this writing contest, about a courageous mom and her witness to others.  We did walk through some similar circumstances, but I was blessed with 8 beautiful years with my baby, and her story just helped me remember my gratitude and all of the incredible memories that I carry with me as mom.  It was a great story and I wanted to share it with all who have a few moments to pause and be moved. I will add the author’s site, Be still, to my links as soon as they are put back on my sidebar. We are doing some testing. 

 Have a blessed Sunday with your families-

I just got my idic-15 newsletter the other day. They are the int’l support group that was such a blessing to us all the years we had Joshua in our life. After losing him on 02, I am no longer on the list serve but do love to read the inspiring stories of the beautiful idic15 kids and their families. It can be viewed on their website .

This latest issue addressed a sensitive subject: the fears that are a reality as parents of a special needs child. In the various interviews, I was so glad to see that what carries them, and all of us, past our fears is that resounding hope, faith and prayers eternal. My friend, Jane, added a poem in the newsletter she found by Brian Andreas at his site, Storypeople.com

It was really touching and it caused me to miss my Joshua’s hilarious cackle laughter that could brighten anyone’s day. Here it is- I think it is called “More Fair”

They left me

with your shadow,

saying things like

Life is not fair

& I believed them

for a long time.

But today,

I remembered

the way you laughed

& the heat

of your hand

in mine.

& I knew that

life is more fair

than we can

ever imagine

if

we are there

to live it.

Thank you God for precious memories. and reminding me to still be in the moment.

Must go play with my boys.